Tuesday, 7 February 2017

One thousand!

Yes, it really is post one thousand! And as the ground-breaking occasion is reached, Nick gives a rare interview to Denise Drizzle of the Guardian.

Denise: So, Nick, post number one thousand. How do you feel about this fantastic milestone?

Nick: It's okay. All in the day's work, really.

Denise: Oh come on, enough of the stuffed-shirt masculinity. Admit it, you're incredibly excited.

Nick: Not at all. It's just one foot in front of the other really. It's just an arbitrary number. I mean, who gives a fuck if it's 1000 or 973 or ten zillion?

Denise: Still the same old Nick, eh? Pretending to be laid-back, deadpan, blasé, nonchalant, while underneath you're a boiling cauldron of red-hot emotions. I bet in private you're leaping up and down, whooping for joy, punching the air.

Nick: Your imagination's overheating, Denise. Really, it's just another post. Just another bit of scribble on the back of an envelope.

Denise: Okay, I get the idea. You're not giving anything away. Just one thing though. Isn't it time you told us your last name? Is it something embarrassing?

Nick: It's Zeigler.

Denise: Really? What, like Toby Zeigler in The West Wing? That's a great name.

Nick: No, I'm fibbing. It's not Zeigler.

Denise: So what is it then? Widebottom? Smellie? Bracegirdle? Hooker?

Nick: It's Rogers. A name so nondescript it's not worth mentioning.

Denise: I won't lie. It's an incredibly boring name. My commiserations. One other thing. You're not really a fucked-up neurotic mess, are you? It's just a big pretence to lure people in, right? In reality you're 100% sane and healthy and totally relaxed about life. Correct?

Nick: I wish. I'm hang-up central, like half the population. Which isn't surprising as we live in an unhealthy, uptight, authoritarian society. And now, if you'll excuse me, I feel a panic attack coming on.

Denise: Is there anything I can do?

Nick: Yes, leave me alone in my introvert hell (sobs quietly)

Denise: What an icon! What a national treasure! What would we do without him?

Pic: Denise Drizzle

22 comments:

Ms Scarlet said...

Congratulations!!!
You are so modest!
Sx

Bijoux said...

Congrats! It's an achievement to stick to something this long, isn't it? I've had Quite a few fellow bloggers bite the dust.

tammy j said...

LOLOL!!!
oh my own nick.
wit is alive and well as long as you post. congrats!
and ...
has she never heard of BUCK ROGERS???
one of the all time great heroes.
eat your heart out star wars groupies!

CheerfulMonk said...

"introvert hell"? Why not introvert heaven?

Dave Martin said...

I've done less than a quarter of that and I'm rapidly losing the incentive to continue, so you're definitely to be congratulated.
Well done Mr Zeigler... I mean Widebottom... you know what I mean...

Nick said...

Scarlet: Thank you. When I started, I thought I'd be lucky to keep going for six months. What happened?

Bijoux: I know, so many really excellent bloggers have given up and decided they had bigger fish to fry.

Nick said...

Tammy: I'm hardly aware of Buck Rogers myself. I don't move in those circles. "A fictional space opera character created by Philip Francis Nowlan in the novella, Armageddon 2419 A.D." Right you are....

Jean: It varies. Sometimes it's pure heaven to be alone without other people pestering me. At other times I'd quite like a little chat with someone.

Nick said...

Dave: Mr Zeigler and Mr Widebottom are temporarily unavailable, so I'll step in. I hope you keep going, I enjoy reading your blog. Perhaps you need to rethink your subject matter? Rethink your target audience? Concentrate on fluffy kittens? Oh, don't mind me, I'm probably making daft suggestions as usual.

John Gray said...

Congratulations my old son
Why do we continue? We love it!

Secret Agent Woman said...

Congratulations. Sometimes I am startled when I realize how long I've been blogging (Since May of 2006!).

helen devries said...

Congratulations! That is an achievement.

Nick said...

John: We do! I love writing about things and I love the perceptive comments I get - especially the critical ones that make me reconsider my lazy thinking.

Agent: Thanks! You've been blogging even longer than me. And in 13 days it's also my 10th blogiversary!

Helen: Thanks! How on earth did I clock up such a staggering total? I shudder to think how many words that amounts to....

Wisewebwoman said...

Wow well done. I think I'm ahead of you but I'd have to check.
XO
WWW

Nick said...

www: Oh, you're well ahead of me. I make your total 1608. Not to mention all your non-blog writing of one kind or another.

kylie said...

Good job, Nick!

Nick said...

Thanks, Kylie! I see you've been visiting me since 2009! And of course we met up in 2008 when I was in Sydney. We go back a long way....

Rummuser said...

Congratulations. Yes, what will all your fans do without your blog posts?

Nick said...

Ramana: Thanks! I know, I have to keep going or my fans would be devastated. They rely on my unique wit and wisdom to keep them on the straight and narrow....

kylie said...

I met you in Sydney in 2012? or thereabouts but not 2008

Nick said...

Kylie: Oh, it wasn't 2008? My memory is playing tricks with me. Ah, I've just looked up the photo and it says 2011. It was Gaye we met in 2008.

Ursula said...

As my long dead (British) and rather lovely mother-in-law used to say: "No rest for the wicked".

And my own mischievous mother: "Don't rest on your laurels".

1000? Chicken feed.

U

Nick said...

Ursula: Chicken feed indeed. Now for the next thousand! As easy as falling off a log....