Monday, 30 October 2017

Un-bucket list

A lot of people have bucket lists - all the things they still want to do before they die. I don't have much of a bucket list, but there are plenty of things I DON'T want to do before I die. For instance:
  • Have a guided tour. I want to explore things on my own, without someone bombarding me with (probably incorrect) information.
  • Take a cruise. I've no wish to mingle with thousands of other people in the middle of the Mediterranean.
  • Go camping. I went to a Scout camp when I was 18. It was dreadful - wet and muddy and utterly primitive.
  • Try bungee-jumping. I'd doubtless be the one person in 10,000 who plummeted to my doom.
  • Play bingo. How can anyone enjoy such a mindless activity - even if you're a witless octagenarian?
  • Become a landlord. I've no desire to profit from other people's desperate need for a home.
  • Keep a pet. It would need too much care and attention. I love cats - as long as they're not mine.
  • Own a motorbike. Far too dangerous. I can see myself colliding with a lorry all too easily.
  • Dye my hair. I like my natural colour. And anyway, hair-dyeing is horrendously expensive.
  • Go bald. I don't find bare scalps in any way attractive. I'd have to get myself a wig.
  • Get a tattoo. I like my skin just as it is, without artificial add-ons. Especially ones I might later regret.
  • Run a marathon. No way would I put myself through 26 miles of physical torture and exhaustion.
  • Have plastic surgery. My body is just fine, wrinkles and all. And it could all go horribly wrong.
  • Go to prison. Imprisonment sounds like hell. I would never survive the degradation and humiliation.
  • Wear stiletto heels. Luckily I'm not expected to.
Pic: Hattie demanded a selfie, so she could see for herself how hideously ugly or drop-dead gorgeous I really am

26 comments:

Ursula said...

Why wouldn't you wish to be a landlord? It's a peculiarly British mindset that landlords "exploit". Sure some do, but that has more to do with lack of regulation. I don't object to my landlord making a profit on his investment (property); after all every time I purchase a product or a service someone will make a profit for their troubles. What I do object to is the mindset, still prevailing in Britain, that a landlord does you a favour when, in truth, YOU are the bloody CUSTOMER giving THEM business. But then, "after sales" isn't a strength often to be found.

Anyway, my dear Nick - and how dashing you look, whilst no doubt your wish to not be a landlord is born of noble motive if somewhat misguided (nothing stopping you being a brilliant landlord) where would I live (in Britain) if everyone had your attitude? The Savoy? The Ritz? Camping in the grounds of Kensington Palace?

U

John Gray said...

Finally we see you. You look exactly how I imagined you would

Nick said...

Ursula: An awful lot of British landlords do exploit their tenants. Repairs that are never done, damp problems, dangerous wiring etc. Not to mention often extortionate rents. I wouldn't want to be tarred with the same brush. In any case, looking after a flat properly is a time-consuming business and I just couldn't be bothered. As you say, the lack of effective regulation is to blame for shoddy properties and sky-high rents.

Ah, but everyone doesn't have my attitude, and there are plenty of people willing to be landlords.

Nick said...

John: Well, I never!

tammy j said...

I am laughing and cheering and smiling and now.
ok. I can speak.
thank goodness for hattie somebody who has enough pull to finally get a picture out of you.
you do not disappoint my dear nick!
I don't want to belittle the intelligence and humorous wit I see in your face with an overly used word not befitting a grown man... but I will...
I think you're CUTE! and very boyish looking too :)
I relate to a few on your list. well most of them really.
about the only thing I really DO want to do is walk among the majestic redwoods on the northern coast of California. then I will die happy!
thank you for that sweet mug shot! xo

Bijoux said...

I agree with Tammy, you do have boyish charm!

I'm with you on most of your list! My husband thinks being stuck on a ship with hundreds of people in the middle of the ocean is sheer torture. I'm ok with that.

Nick said...

Tammy: Cute and boyish looking, huh? Flattery will get you everywhere, ha ha. I just googled the Californian redwoods. They do look rather magnificent.

Bijoux: Boyish charm? I had no idea. Well, I suppose I'm pretty boyish deep down - I still have a strong sense of mischief and cheeky curiosity....

Mike Goad said...

Interesting list. I agree with some and differ on others.

I think your image of camping and our differ a little. We have a small "caravan" with all of the comforts of home. It's more like "glamping."

We've been on 2 cruises, one to the Caribbean and another to Alaska, wildly different from each other. We preferred the Alaskan trip and its excursions. Would I do it again? Sure, except for the cost. There was really very little mingling with crowds of people.

No to bungee-jumping, bingo (though I have, with my parents at a lodge function), landlord, pet, motorbike, hair dye, baldness, tattoo, plastic surgery, prison and heels. I'd like to be in shape enough to run a marathon, though. I have some health issues to overcome before I could even consider that.

CheerfulMonk said...

I, too, like the picture, but I've seen a smaller version on Facebook, right?
No bucket lists here. Our lives here a fulfilling just the way they are.

kylie said...

I think that there are people who have to live in rented accommodation and a good, non-exploitative landlord would be providing an essential service. In general, though I think you are right that they mostly are profiteering, ruthless opportunists.
I know heaps of people who are going on cruises these days, it's a cheap holiday I guess. From what I can make out it's basically a floating buffet and sex fest (does the sex fest depend on the cruise demographic?)
It would be cheaper to go to a buffet restaurant every day than go on a ship, less greenhouse gas emissions as well

Nick said...

Mike: Your version of camping sounds a bit more comfortable than a leaking tent! We've thought about an Alaskan cruise, but apart from anything else, the revelations about the levels of air pollution on cruise ships are pretty off-putting.

Nick said...

Jean: Yep, same picture. Perhaps I should change it every day....

Kylie: Non-stop buffet and sex aren't enough to lure me onto a cruise. I want interesting places to explore, not a floating leisure centre.

As Ursula said, a lot of the problems with British landlords are due to a lack of proper regulation. Landlords can get away with murder.

Rummuser said...

If I were to draw up a list of things I don't want to do, I will simply copy yours.

Nick said...

Ramana: Ah, great minds think alike!

Liz Hinds said...

Yes, I'd agree on lots of those. Definitely bungee jumping and cruising. I find guided tours can be quite useful though. Sometimes - mostly when I just overhear a guide who happens to be passing. But not a marathon. Not running at all in fact. I went to bingo once with some young friends. I couldn't keep up! I don't know about mindless: you have to have your wits about you.

Nick said...

Liz: You just don't know whether a guide is reliable or not. Do they know what they're talking about or are they getting it all wrong? I'd rather rely on a reputable travel guide to give me background information about a place.

Polly said...

You don’t like bingo! You look nothing like I imagined. I thought you would be seated on a motorbike, covered in tattoos, wearing stilettos, holding a cute cat and looking at a sign that says “Bungee jumping next turning on the left". I love bingo, have two lovely dogs, I dye my hair, I have a small tattoo and I have worn stiletto heels, couldn’t stand up in them now, let alone walk in them!!

Nick said...

Polly: Sitting on a motor bike wearing stilettos? You must be thinking of Eddie Izzard or Grayson Perry! You do realise that anyone who admits to liking bingo is banned from my blog for life? One has to be very careful not to admit the hoi polloi....

Hattie said...

So glad I asked for a pic! You are quite a nice looking man! I like-a-your looks!
I've been on cruises and have enjoyed them. My favorites have been an Alaska Cruise, really fantastic, and an Australia-New Zealand cruise. The Caribbean cruses were fascinating, too. But that's over for me; I can't travel any more.
We have two rentals now, one of them being my late mother in law's house next door. After three rather unsatisfactory experiences, we turned the rental management over to an agency, and we think they earn their commission and then some.
Our favorite renters bought the house next door on the other side and have been a great pleasure and comfort to have as neighbors. So there can be mutual benefit.

Nick said...

Hattie: "Nice looking" will do me fine! I daresay I might soften re cruises in a decade's time when I'm getting too feeble to organise a proper holiday myself.

That's another thing that puts me off being a landlord. If you're unlucky enough to be landed with the tenants from hell, it's a devil of a job to get rid of them.

Jay said...

Oooh, I do like the idea of an un-bucket list! I might have compiled one for myself, except it woud be way too similar to yours!

There are a couple of things where we differ, though. I do love having pets, and I do enjoy having my hair coloured. Also, we are landlords ... by accident, but it's working out OK. We bought a second, small house when our student son couldn't find suitable accommodation, then when he'd finished his course, we couldn't sell it. It seemed wrong to let it stand empty, so we got an agent, and we now let it on short leases. It's pretty much had continual occupancy (usually the tenants just renew the lease), and it will come as no surprise that we do not renege on our responsibilities. Repairs and updates and any small complaints are dealt with promptly and jobs are done properly. It makes a tiny profit, because we tend to spend most of the rent money on those repairs and updates.

Nick said...

Jay: A lot of landlords popping up here! I'm sure you'd be a very efficient and responsible landlady - you're a very organised person! And it's probably a good thing that by letting that house, you're preventing someone less scrupulous from letting it.

Wisewebwoman said...

I've done much on your bucket list I'd rather have a list of will-try-agains or won't-try-agains rather than speculate.

I was taught face reading by an old Indian tracker and even though I've seen your face before, more is revealed in this shot. You age well. Carry on.

XO
WWW

Nick said...

www: Good for you, trying everything out. But somehow I doubt if you've worn stiletto heels, gone to prison or had plastic surgery....

joared said...

At my age now I don’t want to do any of those things on your list either. The idea of some of the small cruises, and a few of the other activities on your list would have been appealing at other ages in my life. I’m in a different mode now physically but not mentally. Your picture suggests you to be an aimbile fellow with a likely good sense of humor.

Nick said...

Joared: "An amiable fellow with a likely good sense of humour." That sums me up nicely. My bizarre sense of humour sometimes baffles other people....